then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
