Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
