areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
