Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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