Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize