theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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