Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's never too late to be topless.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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