He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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