she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
