I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
