im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize