she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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