he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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