some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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