plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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