i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
