I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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