so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
