I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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