Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
