I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
