I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
