This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
