All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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