he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
