your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
