This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize