Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
