bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize