when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize