Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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