I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
