I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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