'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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