On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i now understand why vodka
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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