i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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