Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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