About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
