my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
