uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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