He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
