hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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