Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize