using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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