Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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