I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
