Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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