I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
