just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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