yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
