The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
