I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize