If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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