if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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