Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
