we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
