...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
