so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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