After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
