have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
