final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
